Halloween candies definitively ranked
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Halloween candies definitively ranked

This week, in a sugar-induced haze, the staff at the Vision decided to end the great Halloween candy debate once and for all. Through heated discussions, subtle campaigning and a comprehensive Google form, we present to you the five best and five worst candies to find in your bucket this year.

Top Five Best:

Reese’s

While peanut butter and jelly might be considered one of the greatest marriages of flavors, I would argue that peanut butter and milk chocolate earns that title. The Reese’s brand has packaged that marriage in plenty of ways (the Reese’s Pieces, Reese’s Puffs), but the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup is the perfect amalgamation of two distinct American flavors. The crusty, rough chocolate exterior meets your taste buds first, then followed by the soft, creamy peanut butter interior. When the two meet and mix within your mouth — sublime. The great thing about cups is that after one or two you’re stuffed, removing any chance of overly binging. Truly, the perfect American candy. — Joe Bendekovic

Kit Kats

Kit Kats are a universally appealing candy — name one person who would ever reject the offer of one. Kit Kats symbolize all of the good things in the world: sharing with loved ones, taking a break and good fortune. The delicately crisp wafer layers are separated by the perfect amount of chocolate, with a delicious outer coating to finish it off. With varieties ranging from white to dark chocolate and the occasional limited edition flavor, Kit Kats will never fail to make people smile. — Katie Knipper

Twix

If there’s any candy that’s underrepresented at Halloween, it’s Twix. Let’s begin at the most basic level of any candy: the ingredients. Twix is made up of a cookie, caramel and chocolate — what’s not to love? Another notable factor is that unlike other candies, they’re peanut-free, so that’s one less spooky thing on Halloween for those with nut allergies. From the fun advertising campaign to the delicious and classic taste, there’s no way to go wrong with handing out Twix bars on Halloween! — Anna D’Amico

M&M’s

I strongly believe M&M’s should be considered for the greatest confectionery of all time. Their seemingly limitless varieties, quantities and brand identity have cemented the candy as one of the most important of all time. M&M’s product diversity is an important part of their success because just as we are all different, almost every M&M is too. — Colby Crosby

Swedish Fish

Swedish Fish are the best candy, hands down. Their deliciously sugary flavor will make any mouth water. They are the perfect consistency to where they won’t break your teeth like Rock Candy but also won’t glue your mouth shut like Milk Duds. Unlike the clearly inferior chocolate bars, Swedish Fish will not melt in your pocket while you’re waiting to have them as a delectable snack, making them the ultimate Halloween treat.  — Ryder Guido

Honorable Mention:

Candy Corn

Candy corn — the friendship ender — landed dead in the middle of our rankings. For the sake of fairness and diversity of thought, we’ve sourced opinions from both sides of the aisle.

Candy corn is the most superior of all the Halloween candies. It perfectly emcompasses the Halloween spirit in candy form. The color and shape of the candy instantly remind people across the world of fall. With its delicious, unique taste, candy corn surpasses all the other boring, typical candies eaten year round. It is versatile and can go well with other sweet candies, salty foods, and even baked goods. — Ellie Burr

I can say no more about candy corn beyond the fact that it is a disgrace to the name of all things good and Halloween-themed in this world. Its stale taste and almost rubbery texture bring such disgust to the mouth of any unfortunate soul who chooses to partake of the bowl of candy corn displayed with such unwarranted grandeur upon their grandmother’s coffee table. Candy corn’s horridly awful taste brings terrible feelings of terror and uncomfortable conversations with neighbors who ask far too many questions about who you are actually dressed up as. If there was a way to eradicate all candy corn from the face of this earth, I would do whatever I could to see to it. — Abigail Bowen

Top Five Worst:

Caramels

Caramels are just an outdated way to consume sugar. The simplicity behind the candy limits their flavor and I would think that with all the updated, innovative technology that benefits the production of new sweets they could be used to upgrade the consistently boring caramel taste. — Henry Gregson

Twizzlers

Who are Twizzlers for? For that matter, what are Twizzlers for? The only discernible traits of the Twizzler are the unnerving plasticity and barely-present flavor. If you can believe it, the Twizzler is supposed to taste like a strawberry — this should come as a surprise, considering the Twizzler is about as flavorful as a burlap bag full of moon sand. It’s like chewing on a candle. The appealing bright red of the Twizzler is just part of the charade; what looks like a delicious, funky ode to a great fruit is just a sad, bland jump-rope that could only be used as a jump-rope by someone very small. It has a weird shape, a spindly form and an off-putting, shiny quality reminiscent of clown shoes and Lego blocks. It isn’t just that the Twizzler tastes bad — it’s that every quality of the Twizzler implies that it simply shouldn’t exist.   — Justin Wagner

Tootsie Rolls

While most sweets aren’t particularly good for you — often concocted from a range of mysterious chemical ingredients — Tootsie Rolls don’t even bother to hide their fakeness. With a plastic-y taste and flavor nowhere near chocolate, it’s a shock that these abominations desperately misidentifying themselves as candy could land amongst any top-10 list, much less be consumed by choice. Those who indulge in their devilish temptations must have deep-rooted trauma or simply be missing vital taste buds. — Erin Victoria Edgar

Now & Laters

Like a Starburst, but disappointing. — Katie Knipper

Peeps

The lowest ranking candy may come as a shock simply because many are unaware of its existence. But I am here to make you aware that the Peeps brand does indeed make jack-o-lantern-shaped, sugar-coated marshmallows from hell. Beyond the fact that the gelatin that gives these abominations their resilient shape is made from the skin and bones left over from the meat industry, Peeps truly don’t even taste good. For a vegetarian alternative, try mixing sugar and hand soap and swish it through your mouth until every taste bud is crying for help. Happy Halloween! — Katie Knipper

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